Certain things are brewing inside of me tonight. I have visions of yelling at my mother the things I want to say to her, that I don't have the guts to say outloud, the things I would rather not think and instead just squirm around under the covers and bite my fingernails. I want to forget them, to sleep on them. When I wake tomorrow I'll remember why I was so upset, but these words won't be churning, it will be a deeper, silent, bottled emotion that will become harder and harder to express, until one day, I won't be able to express them at all.
That's why I'm writing them down
I own these words:
How could you have let me give away my child? !?!?Didn't you know how devastating that would be to me?
...To our famiy? ...To my life?!?
No, rather...
How could you have ENCOURAGED me to give away my child?
These words I SCREAM at her.
These words she will never hear.
